I’ve heard you do this with your boys in a respectful way over the phone and they seem to understand. At that very moment you need them to wait but when your time has passed they have your full attention, and it’s enjoyable talking to you.
Children do best when they understand that you have boundaries and expectations, you follow through on enforcing those expectations but then they are respected and given their attention in due time. Following up and through, keeping promises and taking time all matter so much.
I’ll admit that with my three daughters this was very difficult for me with my oldest and a constant work in progress. Now that I’m a grandma, I see it in a whole new light as that same daughter is learning this very lesson. I’ll have to let you know as time goes on how she does.
With a household of all men I definitely need respect around my time to connect with women. I think with young girls things can be a bit more blurred because they should have the opportunity to be a part of the grown up women connections. Witnessing and participating in these experiences helps them learn to have their own. I always saw my own mother allowing me to be present for part of the visit or conversation providing I didn’t interrupt and respectfully contributed, and then would send me on my way. It’s not kids being present or part of the experience that’s a problem for me, it’s the uptick in bad and needy behavior trying to interrupt and bring their mother’s attention back to them that I believe is problematic.
Whenever you share your thoughts and wisdom I learn something. I need help with the concept of figuring out how to get my two gear old to understand the not interrupting concept. She says excuse me, so far, but doesn't seem to get the waiting until I am finished talking to someone else part. I need confirmation from someone on whether she's old enough to really get it or if I need to be more patient because she's too young.
Oh Carolyn, I should have clarified age range. Egregious examples of this behavior are usually in children 5 years old and up. That being said I think two years is a good time to start the training the ability of a child to be present and not interrupt constantly and or play nearby with toys. Two year olds aren’t super self sufficient so I would expect them to need their mamas. If you notice an uptick in their need for you when you need some time to visit or converse with another I think that’s something to explore. Do they need more 1:1 attention? So they need more practice experiencing sharing you and knowing that their needs will still be met and their security doesn’t change? I think some parents get in the habit early if placating their kids with food or screens so that the parent can have some uninterrupted time and I will tell you that in animals or children, this can breed some bad behavior because they quickly learn that visitor= time to act up= treats.
I’ve heard you do this with your boys in a respectful way over the phone and they seem to understand. At that very moment you need them to wait but when your time has passed they have your full attention, and it’s enjoyable talking to you.
Children do best when they understand that you have boundaries and expectations, you follow through on enforcing those expectations but then they are respected and given their attention in due time. Following up and through, keeping promises and taking time all matter so much.
I’ll admit that with my three daughters this was very difficult for me with my oldest and a constant work in progress. Now that I’m a grandma, I see it in a whole new light as that same daughter is learning this very lesson. I’ll have to let you know as time goes on how she does.
With a household of all men I definitely need respect around my time to connect with women. I think with young girls things can be a bit more blurred because they should have the opportunity to be a part of the grown up women connections. Witnessing and participating in these experiences helps them learn to have their own. I always saw my own mother allowing me to be present for part of the visit or conversation providing I didn’t interrupt and respectfully contributed, and then would send me on my way. It’s not kids being present or part of the experience that’s a problem for me, it’s the uptick in bad and needy behavior trying to interrupt and bring their mother’s attention back to them that I believe is problematic.
I absolutely agree
Keep me posted on that! 😂🤪❤️
Amen!
🙌🏼
Whenever you share your thoughts and wisdom I learn something. I need help with the concept of figuring out how to get my two gear old to understand the not interrupting concept. She says excuse me, so far, but doesn't seem to get the waiting until I am finished talking to someone else part. I need confirmation from someone on whether she's old enough to really get it or if I need to be more patient because she's too young.
Oh Carolyn, I should have clarified age range. Egregious examples of this behavior are usually in children 5 years old and up. That being said I think two years is a good time to start the training the ability of a child to be present and not interrupt constantly and or play nearby with toys. Two year olds aren’t super self sufficient so I would expect them to need their mamas. If you notice an uptick in their need for you when you need some time to visit or converse with another I think that’s something to explore. Do they need more 1:1 attention? So they need more practice experiencing sharing you and knowing that their needs will still be met and their security doesn’t change? I think some parents get in the habit early if placating their kids with food or screens so that the parent can have some uninterrupted time and I will tell you that in animals or children, this can breed some bad behavior because they quickly learn that visitor= time to act up= treats.
Thank you for your comment!
Yes! Amen! Thank you for this Sarah.