Where is my transformed heart?
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, He is a new creation!
The old has passed away, behold the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17
Scrawled in the margins of my old Bible are the words,
“Where is my transformed heart?”
I remember the day I sat in the church pew thinking and writing these words.
I knew the words to the songs, the scriptures and the prayers, but my quiet truth in that moment was a realization I was not growing or changing inside.
I was very much the same no matter what people may have seen on the outside.
Same desires, same fears, same old wounds and hurts, same unkind thoughts, same earthly preoccupations.
”Where was it?
What was it supposed to feel like to be transformed and changed?
Not to simply know “right from wrong” but to desire the right?
To cherish truth and God’s heart above my own?”
I could feel my curiosity about what it would feel like to truly be changed, but also no real drive to seek out the change and I moved on in my mind as the pastor continued to preach, say the blessing and dismiss the congregation.
In the fifteen years since writing that note to myself, my heart has gone through periods of growth, recovery and lots of stagnancy too, but I thank God that the question of my heart comes to mind often still to be reminded of what matters most.
It’s the heart behind everything we do that really matters.
In 2023, you’ll hear it referred to as the “energy” or “intention” but regardless of what we call it, the meaning is the same.
The origin of the actions.
The spirit behind it all is what shapes our character, draws us nearer or pushes us further from the Lord and shapes our future.
It all starts in the cordis**.
You see,
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Matt 12:34
And the heart as we know it, can’t always be trusted for it is deceitful above all things. Jeremiah 17:9
Above all else we should guard it for everything we do flows from it! Proverbs 4:23
Not only is the Lord close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18
But when we mess up, He doesn’t require anything but the sacrifice of a broken spirit and contrite heart . Psalms 51:17
Humans and the culture may be obsessed with outer appearance, but God, God looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7
He has searched us and knows all.
He doesn’t require perfection in fact, He planned on a lack of it.
At any moment in our days or our lives, we can simply mutter to the Lord, groan, plead and weep,
”Create in me a clean heart.” Psalm 51:10
And He answers-
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.
I will remove from you the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Ez. 36:26
The trick?
To actually desire it.
To be like God in the sense that you too value what’s beneath the surface.
To know that He looks at our heart, so we better be looking at it too.
And when we ask He answers with trials, tests, people and animals that swell our hearts.
New mindsets, new chapters, new sadnesses and the healing that follows.
And if you lack the desire for a transformed heart, He can give you that too.
Just like I did and have done many, many times, simply ask,
”Where is my transformed heart?”
I hope you enjoyed this Monday’s devotion.
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xoxo,
Sarah
PS- Have an overwhelmed heart today? I have had one too lately and found comfort in this song.
Lead me to the rock
**[VARIATIONS OF ROOT] cord, cordi, cour, core
[ETYMOLOGY]root (Latin) cordis, cor
[MEANING]root heart, mind
Your heart is your “core” that makes you up.
When you are in agreement with someone you are in one “accord”, of one heart.
To keep a “record” is to repeat something in your heart.
And to have “courage” is to have heart.