One choice
the decision fatigue of serving oneself....
I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I love clarity.
In this day and age of chronic decision fatigue, if you could always just give me two clear options to choose between, that would be great.
I think that has been the most interesting benefit of the gospel for my life, especially my motherhood journey, clarity.
I used to think having “the world as my oyster” and limitless options of choices a good thing, but age and experience have shown me how wonderful it is to have parameters and limits which is why I wanted to present to you something I have discovered for myself over the years and that is that in life we have but two options:
to live for yourself
or to live, as Christ did in denial of himself living for the and obeying the Father alone.
That’s it.
Every day we can rise and say, “Thy will be done,” OR we can make our own plans, or we can even rise and say those words but have our actions show that our hearts are not in our prayer.
Ok maybe it’s not always that cut and dry.
Maybe we are still called upon to make decisions about our daily lives like:
wear this or that
cook this or that
exercise or not
eat this or that
butcher that bull or not
return that phone call or not
get up and pray or sleep in
pay this bill first or that one
get that test or not
see that practitioner or not
take that job or not
speak or stay silent…
and any other number of decisions we have to make for ourselves, our household and children…
But what I have realized simplifies the decision-making process it is two things:
Being clear on our guiding principle-
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 16:25
Am I living for myself, doing what my mind tells me to do, OR am I bringing everything before the Lord, prepared to do what He says, prepared to wait on His direction, prepared to follow Him into the land of discomfort, to what is “illogical” and even uncomfortable?
Because the truth is that the only way to the true answer, the answers that provide, make us holy and set us free, is in Christ.
When we are living for ourselves we may feel free to do as well like, but the truth is that we are in reality enslaved.
When I lived for fully for myself, dying in my sin, my mind was shackled.
I answered to my gods, gods of productivity, success, self indulgence, fear of what others thought of me, fear of failure….a pressure to do something important and impactful and nothing I did was ever enough.
It was never enough.
I could never appease them no matter what I accomplished or offered.
There was no end, my morality and guideposts were all made up, subject to whims and trends.
It was tiring and demoralizing.
When I gave my life to Christ, freedom was offered, but truthfully I remained enslaved for a bit.
I still answered to my old gods, I still looked to myself, I just put an “I’m doing this for the Lord” stamp on everything I did but I was still calling the shots and holding myself accountable.
There was a lot of” “Here God, look what I made for you!”
But over time I think our Father gently, mercifully and continually whispers, “it’s for freedom you have been set free…” Galatians 5.
Slowly I began to see how I continued to enslave myself by working FOR myself rather than willingly accepting servanthood and learning to do His will only.
The Bible tells us that the only way to have eternal life is to be born again. John 3.
And to be born again means to die to our old selves, our sins, declare God as our God and Christ as the savior that allows us access to God the Father. Galatians 2:20
Then we are free.
But if we want the full benefits of said freedom, if we want to transcend being “christian” to being a disciple, then we have to accept servanthood.
If we want the life God has created for us, then we must leave our inherited enslavement behind, do as Christ did and voluntarily take up servanthood in the laying down of our lives to our Father -which practically in this life means laying it down for one another.
And the irony of this, in my experience, the laying down of our lives for others is mostly choices and sacrifices made in private -not grand holy acts on display, but the forgiveness in our hearts, the holding our tongues, the letting go of our dreams, goals and selfish ambitions and allowing the Lord to give us the life He has for us, which incidentally is the greatest gift we can receive.
There is a lack of anxiety, worry and fear that exists when we do the Will of the Father
A perfect peace that allows us to withstand difficulty even abuse and confusion much like our Lord did.
I won’t say it’s devoid of anguish, we know that it can be part of it, but there is a clarity, a certainty and a confidence we radiate inside and out when we do His will.
Willingness to wait on the Lord.
Wait on the LORD: Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: Psalm 27
The second part of decision making is in my opinion a willingness to wait.
God will show us what to do if we ask AND wait for His answer.
I believe that the modern church and “christian” culture has trained us to think that sometimes God does not give us answers and we have to in those moments pick the thing that “makes the most sense to us”.
Really?
Is that Biblical?
For this I point to Saul consulting a witch, Abraham conceiving with Hagar, Asa aligning with the king of Syria and Peter denying he knew Jesus all as examples of our rushing in to answer questions and create our own solutions instead of WAITING for God to direct or deliver us.
He will always answer us.
He will always show us IF we are willing to wait on Him and to hear Him.
Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy are books that can to some people seem like outdated and boring, but the truth is they teach us a lot about the nature of man/humanity and the character of God and it’s pretty dang clear to me that the God described by Moses in those books is a God of order and clarity who operates on His own time frame.
I don’t believe God is trying to trick us and if and when it feels like He’s obscuring answers, that is often an answer or an invitation to go deeper and seek after Him more deeply. It’s an invitation to growth, patience and often even a new way of seeing.
Ask.
Seek.
Knock.
Often He has already answered us in His word and He’s waiting for us to go and seek the answer or be ready to receive and obey it.
For me sometimes that takes years….
For the parents:
And for parents it is especially clear what we are called to do:
Mothers and wives are to be keepers of the home, to submit and have quiet spirits, to tend to work God has given them. Ephesians 5:23; Proverbs 14:1; Titus 2:4-5 *AI on Google tells me that one is taken out of context. LOL.
Fathers and husbands are to be priests and providers for their households, raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, lay down their lives, bodies selfish ambitions for their wives and families as Christ did. Ephesians 6:4 1 Timothy 3:4-5: 1 Peter 3:7 Ephesians 5:25 Phillipians 2
There is little to no earthly glory in all this.
There is very little praise.
There can be suffering, difficulty, humility and anonymity.
But there is joy and satisfaction in obedience and love, the laying down of our lives because that’s what we are designed for and Christ in His mercy makes our lives more fulfilling in servanthood than it could EVER be when we were living for ourselves.
There is a fullness and a peace in knowing it’s not hours of thinking and decision- making He requires, but private obedience of a person who has calmed and quieted their spirits hearts and minds accepting the life our Lord is authoring. Psalm 131.
It’s difficult initially because while I myself had grown accustomed to accepting the disappointment and failures of my own decisions, accepting the restrictions, closed doors and assignments of the Lord felt be a bit more difficult and limiting.
It felt like I was giving up.
But the more I do it the more I appreciate the clarity and the less I care about pleasing anyone or thing but my Father who sees all and knows what is true and best.
“So it’s a no, God?
Good to know.
Show me what to do so instead, Lord?
Do the tasks to the day like wash the dishes, love my family, honor my current responsibilities and wait for your instruction and that’s it for today?
Roger that.”
For the mamas:
And to the mamas out there-while I LOVE the movement that motherhood is having right now.
I love that so many women are returning to caring about and investing in their households-as we should.
It’s Biblically mandated and the house is the training ground for our children, it should be a sanctuary, a church, an incubator, and a place of worship, creativity and love.
But putting our own selfish ambitions even around motherhood-trying to be the picture perfect mother, trying to find ourselves and our fulfillment in motherhood, looking for the role God as assigned us to tell us who we are is also dangerous.
We can find our meaning in Him and only Him.
It’s in the laying down of all our ambitions that we find Him and our lives.
Whoever wants to save His live must lose it.
Have you lost it yet?
If not, you are wasting time.
You are waiting for the world to tell you who you are.
Don’t wait.
Sacrifice it all to Him. Let Him test it in the fire and give you back what has withstood Hi purification process.
Lay down everything that is important to you today and let Him transform it and you into a beauty you cannot even comprehend.
I’ll leave you with this.
Keeping life simple by ceasing to serve ourselves (this includes the serving others IF we serve others because of how it makes us feel about ourself or because we answer to others and NOT because the Lord has told us to do so) and seeking to be obedient to Him and do the will of the Father no matter how it looks to everyone else (I cite Jesus’ ENTIRE ministry as an example of this) will clarify everything.
Anxiety.
Fear.
Even illness can all subside as we discover the perfect peace offered to us by the one that knows that this world is passing away. That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9).
My fellow Wise Women, we have been invited to be poured out as a drink offering in servanthood to the Lord.
And as we are poured we will be filled more than we have ever imagined.
Our cups will overflow, our minds and spirits quiet and we find the perfect peace and clarity in full submission and servanthood to the Most High.
But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. Philippians 2
xoxo,
Sarah
A lovely song of worship for you on this Sabbath!
Wow, the two options idea is so clear. My brain often just wants simpl 'if-then' logic.