I spent years determined not to be “just a mom”.
Moms drive minivans.
They let their bodies go.
They have nothing going on that is truly theirs.
They live for their children and then one day, their children leave.
If I’m going to have a fulfilling life,
If I’m going to make a difference in this world,
If I’m going to feel good about who I am and what I do daily,
then I CAN’T be “just a mom.”}
Maybe no one ever overtly tells young girls, “Make sure you’re not JUST a mom”, but tell them they do.
It’s communicated in every possible way.
We are told to set goals for ourselves, to achieve, to be competitive in the world, to do great things.
And the arena for such pursuits?
It’s sports, school, education, industry, the corporate world and never the home and certainly not motherhood.
My school never hosted women lecturers that came to talk to us about what they’ve learned in motherhood, no they were world travelers, CEO’s, artists, athletes and authors who may have been mothers, but that was rarely mentioned.
To be JUST a mom is what you do by accident or because you married young, have no prospects of opportunity, failed in school or lack a natural curiosity about the world.
Being just a mom is you not thinking for yourself, working for yourself, standing up for yourself!
It’s enslavement and unoriginal.
The lie that has permeated every aspect of society to slowly brainwash us away from accepting our inheritance and privilege on this earth has become so embedded in society we don’t even notice it.
What if everything we are told about womanhood is to convince us that the only way to be satisfied and content in our lives is to serve ourselves so that we won’t become matriarchs that guard the children God has given us?
What if by using all of our talents, intellect, skills and determination in the career world outside of our homes, we are rendered weak, exhausted and clueless within the four walls that matter?
What if children without engaged mothers are easier to brainwash and assimilate into the system of mindless labor, drug dependency, consumerism and or chronic disease?
What if every single mother on this planet, God has endowed with a set of super powers that will be UNIQUELY necessary in the raising of her individual children, the people that shape the future?
What if mothers are actually shaping the world and the world powers want to replace us so that they can solely steer the ship?
What if accepting your job as a mother as an honor that you want to meet full on so you start to address any physical or emotional health deficiencies you have in order to not impart them to your children is your highest duty?
What if the education that you MOST need is the one that teaches you how to listen to your own body so that you can interpret its signals as it tells you not just what you need, but intuitively it is sensing what is needed by the little people in your home.
WHAT IF TO BE JUST A MOM IS THE GREATEST AND MOST IMPORTANT ROLE WE CAN PLAY IN THIS WORLD AND IT TAKE PRECEDENT OVER ALL OTHER WORK WE CHOOSE.
So what if you’re “just a mom” that spends her day teaching earth’s citizens how to be responsible, kind, caring, hard-working, self aware, healthy and balanced people that know that life on earth is a vapor and the kingdom of heaven is coming and people should be ready?
Maybe the most important thing you do today is to hold a child and comfort them in their sadness in a manner that erodes hurt and bitterness so that they can show love to that lonely little boy on the playground who in turn goes home to be loving to his siblings who are then prompted to love on their mother who is kind to their stressed father when he comes home from work and who in turn showers his entire family with love that night and decides to give up drinking and create a new start for his family because their love is worth all the hard work he can manage?
What if you’re not loving JUST your children by being a mother, but you are loving all of mankind and helping to improve the state of things?
And maybe, just maybe that in deciding to double down on motherhood you realize that you don’t have to mother like the culture tells you to and you invest time and effort into learning exactly what version of motherhood God has for your special skill set and personality.
You grab this opportunity with both hands and you relish in the chance to be something that never existed before, the mother at this point in history that is exactly what your household needs.
And maybe your work and position in your household loving and nurturing and teaching your children all the wisdoms God has imparted to you fills you up SO VERY MUCH that the next time someone asks you, “What do you do?”
You answer, “ Oh I’m a mom.”
xoxo,
Sarah
If you loved this, please share!
Monday Matriarch Devotions are reserved for paid subscribers.
Sign up if you’d like to receive a weekly devotional with an audible version (a private podcast, if you will) to set the tone for your week.
These are rooted in scripture and focused on helping our hearts, minds and bodies be ready for our roles as women and mothers in 2023.
Hey there Peeps!
This article I wrote on day a few months ago. It just poured out of me as I talked to not you or any other women in this world, I talked to myself.
Throughout the shamdemic experience I began to move more deeply into my role as a matriarch.
God opened my eyes to the many ways I was always looking to the world to validate me in my work so much that I valued more what I was doing in my career than what I was doing in my home.
Out of fear of the Lord and a desire to not miss any of the wonderful things that God had bestowed upon me by giving me my three boys, I started to change (or be changed) by Him.
Truthfully I was not equipped in my own strength to give up the things that were feeding my ego and making me feel valuable, but I asked the Lord to give me His eyes to see and to help me make the changes.
And so I slowly scaled back the work that I was doing in my online business.
I stated coaching less and creating less content.
That meant reduce income, but I felt like God showed me that by being more intentional in my home I could actually SAVE money.
I share all this to be honest with you about the work I have been doing.
I feel like I missed things when the boys were little, too busy pursuing greatness in the world.
I feel that was in large part due to how I was raised in the culture of the 90’s with the pressure and expectations that I would do GREAT things and my understanding that being a mother wasn’t going to be “great” enough.
In 2022 I started to scale back even more significantly in my work and when we moved in May, I gave it all up altogether and sort of disappeared.
Sometimes I struggle with that decision because I do love helping women and I worked hard to make connections in my industry, to gain education and experience and I’ve helped lots of women improve the function of their bodies which has in turn helped them feel better in their lives.
But I can honestly say that sinking more deeply into motherhood and embarking on this farming experience not as an enterprise to be my new business or world validating activity, but as something to be done as a family, something to be mostly experienced in real life and not through the lens of a screen, has been extremely rewarding on many levels.
It has calmed my nervous system, made me a more patient and present person, helped me to know my children better and to guide my household more peacefully.
It was felt so good and so like what I’m meant to be doing, that I miss the work less.
Even the Substack sometimes is something that I feel could easily become an obsession, somewhere I go for validation and ego-strokes, but I’m praying God helps me keep the balance. If I can’t Substack has this amazing feature whereby I can pause your payments/AKA not accept money again until I write.
It prorates the year long subscribers too.
I’m praying that my desire to double down on motherhood and to enjoy it for all that it does for ME and all the ways it makes me better is something that is helpful to the women to hear about my new pursuits.
In the past two years and even more in the past nine months I have seen what a joy life can be when we recognize what a huge GIFT, HONOR and RESPONSIBILITY it is to be a matriarch.
ALSO I have noticed that when I’m not preoccupied with all the other work I was doing for years, I have more time and energy to shape my version of motherhood into something that brings ME meaning AND nurtures and nourishes my kid.
No two mothers are an alike because no two households are a like.
We are designed to UNIQUELY do the jobs of keeping the home and often when I see women dissatisfied in motherhood, it’s because they are trying to do TOO much and letting their local culture dictate HOW they mother and its stressful.
If you are a mother and you’ve been struggling because you don’t feel like you’re not doing ENOUGH, I would encourage you to take some time and think about your purpose.
Have a friend, family members or spouse help you list and realize your gifts.
Think about what you wish to impart to your children.
Dream about how you want to be remembered.
Determine what you believe is the role of a matriarch and how you want to go about receiving that role FULL BOAR!
That’s what I started doing in 2020 and I tell you, it’s been a beautiful and wonderful experience.
I’d hate for anyone to miss it if they haven’t gotten to it yet.
xoxo,
Sarah